• GET HELP

To report child abuse or neglect, call:

800-894-5533 (from out of state) 

603-271-6562 (from in New Hampshire)

Child abuse is not something we like to think about, admit is real, or let alone suspect it could be happening to our own children. However, the reality is 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 13 boys are sexually abused before their 18th birthday. The more educated we are on the facts and how to teach our children about body safety, the better we are armed in the fight against child abuse.

If your child does disclose something of concern to you, consult “How can I help my child?” for suggestions on things you can say and do.

We are here to help and support you within the investigation process. 

What to Expect
Get in Touch

The Investigative Team

The prosecutor leads the team and has the final decision as to whether charges will be filed. Consideration is given to many factors which will affect the likelihood of success in court. Some of the factors considered are: age and maturity of the child, the child’s ability to testify, whether or not the suspect has confessed, presence of physical evidence, and whether or not there are other witnesses. Prosecution may not happen in every case.

The Rockingham County Police Departments have investigators on the Child Advocacy Center multidisciplinary team. They interview non-offending parents, suspects, other witnesses, and sometimes children and gather evidence from the scene of the alleged event.

The role of the Division for Children Youth and Families (DCYF) is to help protect your child. DCYF has no role in the prosecution of the offender. Their primary objective is to work with the family and to develop safety plans and goals. The DCYF social workers conduct some interviews. They may refer you and/or your child to counseling or other community agencies.

Physicians and Nurse Examiners assigned to the Child Advocacy Center multidisciplinary team have years of experience examining children for possible abuse. The exam may not prove if a child has been abused or not. Eighty percent of all children who have been abused have normal exams.

The Child Advocacy Center has two trained forensic interviewers on staff that will be doing most of the child interviews. There are some exceptions to this where the police investigator or DCYF worker who has been also trained in forensic interviewing has a rapport with the child or is the only one available. The CAC staff are neutral to the investigation and our primary objective is to obtain information while keeping the child comfortable and safe.

The role of the Family Support Specialist (FSS) is to help support the child and family by providing valuable information, resources, referrals for services, and answers to any questions that may arise throughout and after the interview process. The FSS maintains an open line of communication with the family.

The crisis advocate is not part of the investigative team but is an integral part of the multidisciplinary team. They provide the non-offending parents with advocacy and support in a confidential manner. They sit with the non-offending parents while the interview is going on. Having an advocate provide support is voluntary and they can be asked to leave at any time. Services that are provided include a 24-hour Support Line, accompaniment to the hospital, police department, or court, a safe confidential 24–hour emergency shelter and support groups. Our advocates are from Haven, Bridges, or YWCA.

Signs of Sexual Abuse

Signs of Sexual Abuse in children are not black and white, or clear-cut. Assessment is difficult and multifaceted. 30-40% of kids are asymptomatic following abuse and 30% exhibit few symptoms. Sexual behavior is one of many potential indicators. That being said, it is important as caregivers to know normal sexual development in children in order to recognize concerning behavior. We hope that the following information will be used as a guide.

Normal Sexual Behavior

Sexual Knowledge

  • Gender identity
  • Origins of self-esteem
  • Learns labels for body parts
  • Uses slang labels

Sexual Behavior

  • Genital exploration
  • Penile erections, vaginal lubrication
  • Genital pleasure is possible
  • Touches sex parts
  • Enjoys nudity

Sexual Knowledge

  • Gender performance
  • Gender differences are understood
  • Limited information about pregnancy & childbirth
  • Knows labels for parts but prefers slang
  • Uses elimination functions for sexual parts

Sexual Behavior

  • Masturbates for pleasure, may experience orgasm
  • Sex play with siblings or peers; shows genitals; explores own/others genitals
  • Enjoys nudity
  • Uses elimination words with peers

Sexual Knowledge

  • Genital basis of gender
  • Correct labels, uses slang
  • Sexual aspects of pregnancy
  • Increasing knowledge: masturbation, intercourse, physical aspects of puberty

Sexual Behavior

  • Sex games, role play, fantasy, “doctor”
  • Masturbation in private
  • Modesty, embarrassment: hides games from adults
  • Puberty begins: menstruation, wet dreams
  • Interested in media sex
  • Uses sexual language

Sexual Knowledge

  • Sexual Intercourse
  • Contraception
  • Sexually Transmitted Diseases

Sexual Behavior

  • Puberty continues: most girls menstruate by 16; most boys capable of ejaculation by 15
  • Dating begins
  • Sexual contacts common: kissing, petting
  • Sexual fantasy, dreams
  • Sexual Intercourse may occur in up to 75% by age 18

Body Safety

There is no perfect age to talk with your children about their bodies and being safe, but it is an important conversation. Avoid just falling back on the old warning of “stranger danger” as most children are abused by someone they know. These tips are not meant to be the complete answer, but are general guidelines for speaking with your child:

  • Talk about the parts of the body that are considered “private” – these are the body parts covered by a bathing suit and that no one should touch (unless getting help with toileting, bathing, or part of a doctor’s exam).
  • Use the correct terms for their body parts – this helps to ensure that others will know what they are talking about if something were to have happened.
  • Explain they are not to touch anyone else’s private body parts.
  • Talk about what your child should do if someone touches them or shows them their private parts. Help them identify a safe adult to tell.
  • Discuss the difference between surprises and secrets.
  • Become familiar with the signs of abuse.
  • Encourage children to talk to you about things that make them feel sad, uncomfortable, scared – and to trust their feelings.
  • Do not force children to hug people – allow them to be in control of their own bodies. Ask your child questions about possible situations, like: “What would you do if….Who would you tell…”. If your child does disclose something that is concerning, avoid the temptation to ask direct or leading questions. Bring this information to the attention of the appropriate authorities: the Division for Children Youth and Families (1-800-894-5533) and/or your local police department. Ask for help, get support for yourself, and let your child know that you are proud of them for talking to you.

How Can I Help My Child?

JUST LISTEN.
Be aware of the bravery it took for your child to come forward. Provide safety, love, and support. Let them know it is okay to cry or be mad. Make sure your child understands it is not his or her fault and that THEY ARE NOT IN TROUBLE.

  • I believe you.
  • I know it’s not your fault.
  • I’m glad I know about it.
  • I’m sorry this happened to you.
  • I will take care of you.
  • I’m not sure what will happen next.
  • Nothing about YOU made this happen. It has happened to other children, too.
  • You don’t need to take care of me.
  • I am upset, but not with you.
  • I’m angry at the person who did this to you.
  • I’m sad. You may see me cry. That’s all right. I will be able to take care of you. I am not mad at you.
  • You can still love someone but hate what they did to you.
  • Remain calm
  • Believe the child
  • Allow the child to talk
  • Show interest and concern
  • Reassure and support the child
  • Take action

Try not to panic or overreact, press the child to talk, promise anything you can’t control, confront the offender, blame or minimize the child’s feelings, or overwhelm the child with questions.

If a child tells you that he or she has been hurt, or you are concerned that a child may be a victim of abuse or neglect, you are required to call the Division for Children, Youth and Families (DCYF) Central Intake Unit at:

Phone: 800.894.5533, available 24/7
Office Hours: 8:00 AM to 4:30 PM Monday—Friday

Call your local police department with urgent child abuse or neglect reports during DCYF non-work hours between 4:30 PM and 8:00 AM, or on weekends and holidays.

Proof of abuse or neglect is not required to make a report, and you may do so anonymously.

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